A Modest Revolution

During one of my latest trips to Palmyra, I purchased the documentary "A Modest Revolution" at the church bookstore. I finally got around to watching it the other day and thought I'd give a review.

The documentary was made in 2006, a follow up to a research paper done by Denise Richards (a BYU student, not the actress, ha ha). It's a bit amateurish, especially the beginning, but overall the message was good. They talked about how modesty isn't just about the clothes you wear but overall how you are- inner dignity. They talked about how modesty is a sign of an inner commitment. Modesty isn't about being ashamed of yourself, it's quite the opposite. Modesty is a way for people to get to know you instead of being distracted by your clothes.

I also liked how they talked to all kinds of people from different religions- Christian, Muslim, Jews-and secular voices were represented. It's about half an hour long, which is kind of short. They finally get going only to have to stop. I'm sure there were more aspects that could be discussed.

Of course you cannot have a discussion about modesty without talking about Wendy Shalit- she wrote the book A Return to Modesty a few years ago (which I need to read) and also the more recent book entitled Girls Gone Mild (which I loved). Wendy Shalit is an orthodox Jewish woman who has similar views about modesty and morality as us LDS girls and I really like what I have read from her. She has a blog, Modesty Zone. She is also interviewed for this documentary and I liked the comments that she makes there too.

In the book Girls Gone Mild, she shares about the Jewish belief that the light of God is in your face (I'm paraphrasing) and if you dress inappropriately, then you are distracting people from the light of God in your face. I liked that analogy.

I grew up in the Seattle area in the grungy 90's- I don't think I could have dressed immodestly if I tried! There was flannel everywhere. I am glad that I'm not in high school these days. The film badmouths Madison Avenue quite a bit, wanting them to change, but I don't really care about reforming the fashion industry. There are attractive, modest options out there and there are small companies springing up that offer modest fashions. Part of me kind of likes the challenge of finding attractive, modest clothing. And if it doesn't exist, then I can create it. I like looking different- actually being covered up and not having tattoos and piercings everywhere makes me stand out from my peers at school. I can bend over without showing my backside. I've become the rebel, not them, if you think about it.

My mother and I have conversations about modesty- and it's funny because a lot of my mother's clothes were sleeveless back in the day and so were her friend's. It wasn't really considered bad like it is now in LDS circles. And I look at her photos and I don't think they're scandalous. I had little sun outfits when I was a kid, and I don't think it was scandalous to wear a sundress at age 6. But I was innocent then, and I think that was the case for my mom and her friends, too. They weren't trying to be sexy.

But I don't like seeing it these days. It bothers me to see immodestly dressed young people (modesty is for boys too), especially at church functions. One thing that is really irritating to me is when I see a modestly dressed bride- and her bridesmaids are totally immodest. In photos in front of the temple. I'm like...wha? Such a contradiction.

When I was growing up, I wanted to wear shorts to school (on the two nice days a year in western Washington) and Mom's answer was always No- her philosophy is that you act how you are dressed and she felt shorts were too casual for school. And I hated that rule. In recent years, I've (darn it!) found it to be true- when I am dressed lax, I act lax. If you dress sexy, you're probably going to act sexy.

I notice other people's reactions to how I dress- if I am dressed as a scrub, then people treat me like a scrub. I am often dressed like a scrub at school, what with studio classes and such. People treat me differently. And the opposite is true, too. When I was driving home from my last YSA conference, I stopped to buy gas, and I was definitely the nicest dressed person (in my skirt and heels) in a gas station in rural WV. And the men by and behind the counter there were quite chivalrous to me, because I was dressed nice. Your appearance is the first thing that people see, and it speaks volumes about who you are.

I showed the film to my girls last Wednesday and I think they got the message. We've had conversations on this topic before and I talked about how we want to be classy and not trashy. There's many elements that comprise being "classy" and modesty is one of them. Modesty isn't just about how much skin you're showing, but I think it also comprises other aspects- are you dressed like a schlub? Do you groom yourself properly? Are you dressed to gain attention? Do you have inappropriate piercings? Do you draw all over yourself (I did that and my girls do too...sigh!)? Do you show respect for the body and spirit that God has given you?

I have really been enjoying the recent talks, etc, about the new Young Women's value of Virtue. Modesty is definitely a part of being virtuous. If you did not watch the recent YW broadcast, then I recommend viewing or reading the talks. Elaine S. Dalton gave a really wonderful talk about what true beauty is.

I think back in my day in YW, modesty was taught more about the letter of the law (hemlines, etc) and no one really explained why it's important. I like that we talk these days about why it's important and that it's more than what you wear but how you are- the spirit of the law.

There are many aspects to this topic, which I may discuss in the future. Anyhow, I really like talking about this topic and I feel that it's really important in today's society.