Latebloomers

I'm totally a Latebloomer. I'm sure a lot of people are, but I think I take the cake. I don't think I've done very much when I was "supposed" to.

Consider:

• I was born two weeks late
• I was baptized four months after I turned 8...had to wait for Dad to get home
• I never did earn my YW medallion (working on it now!)
• I got my driver's license when I was 19
• It took 3.5 years to get a 2 year degree
• I was essentially 22 when I left on my mission
• I was late entering the dating world
• We're STILL unpacking from the move nearly 3 yrs ago
• I'm 29 and still working on a Bachelor's degree
• I have yet to have a real job
• And oh yeah, no man/babies either

I think the only thing I ever did early was graduate at age 17 (I turned 18 later that summer).
I joke that one day I'll be grown up. Right now I'm Peter Pan, being a big kid. And I love it. I'm happier than I've been in awhile.

It's easy to compare yourself to others and go "What's wrong with me?" but I've found that that just leads to unhappiness. I have to remember that everyone's timeline isn't the same- and thank heavens it's not or else the world would be so boring. Not to mention we couldn't get advice from people who've done it before.
It's easy to feel like there's an expiration date on me that says "Must Get Married By Age 30", but there isn't. At least I haven't found it in the shower.

I enjoy keeping in touch on fb, but at the same time I find out about a lot of marriages/children of those much much younger than I (that I probably wouldn't have heard of otherwise) which can get depressing if I let it. It's really easy to say THEY'RE getting married?!? or They've got HOW many kids now? but I try not to. It gets worse when they're kids you used to babysit, or if they were the little children of your YW leader back in the day. When I compare myself to others, it just makes me sad, and who needs that? The race is against ourselves, not against others.

I didn't realize until I left how sad I was being in my home ward (which I'd been there for like 20 years). I miss people back home but it's very good for my mental health not to be around all the kids getting married and all the people who compare me to them. I love being in YW here, but I was always so fearful of being put in it back home- I think I would have gone crazy from comparison.

I tell myself that I'm doing what I'm supposed to and I think I'm where I'm supposed to be for the time being, so I should be happy. And I am. I can't help if my timeline is different than others. It drives me crazy when people need to "fix" me because they think my timeline is wrong.

That being said, I love it when I see other Latebloomers succeed in the whole marriage/babies thing. One of the guys that I knew in the singles ward forever ago recently got married (for the first time!)- and he's 10 years older than I. He finally found the right girl. One of the older guys I know out here is getting married in June, he's in his early 30's and is so happy. Not many marry out here, so I love seeing people succeed.
I saw a blog by an LDS girl who was 31 and decided to go on 31 dates with 31 different boys in 31 days and spend a total of $31. And you know what? She found her man by doing that and their wedding pics were posted on Style Me Pretty. Her blog is down while she's writing a book about it. Sadly, the whole 31 dates/days thing isn't an option for me-I don't know 31 eligible men out here- or really, any.

One of the couples that I know in the stake are older- probably in their later 40's or early 50's. Both real nice, normal people. I was surprised to find out that they'd only been married a couple of years- and neither had been married before. They had finally found their person. They grinned, "Yeah, we're Latebloomers." And I was thrilled to see that they had adopted a tiny baby last fall. I hadn't seen the wife since the adoption, but I saw her when I crashed another ward's RS birthday party last month. And it was wonderful to see her so incredibly happy being a mother. She glowed and I could see the joy in her eyes. When I see people like this, it gives me hope.

One of my personal heroes is Kristen Oaks, the second wife of Elder Dallin H. Oaks. He married her after his first wife had passed away. I believe she was in her 50's when she married Elder Oaks (Side Note: I can't imagine dating an apostle!) and she had given up on getting married. She had devoted herself to her family and service. I enjoyed the CES fireside that Elder Oaks spoke at (I believe it was in 2008) and I enjoyed what she said during that fireside as well. She said that if you can't handle being single, then you'll never handle being married. I was excited to hear that she has a book out, it's on my To Read list.

All of us are on our own paths, and it's important to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He knows and loves us individually and he knows what is best for us. I'm hoping that I'll be a good wife/mom when the time comes because I've had longer to prepare for it.