I have many funny little anniversaries of sorts that I remember. A major one for me is when I came home from my mission in Connecticut...five years ago today. How did that happen? Wasn't I just in CT? I have to admit, it's not a very happy milestone for me...how did that much time go by? It just serves as a big reminder that I am not very close to where I want to be in life and I feel like time is slipping away from me. I thought my future would be different than this when I came home. It's getting kind of embarrassing watching most people get hitched the instant they get home and I'm still single after five years. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but it's hard not to when kids you babysat are now getting married and having children!It drives me crazy that I don't have more control over things in my life- where I live, my health, etc.I just want something to change (for the better)...is that too much to ask? Yeah, I moved, and yeah, I'm going to school...but now what? Life has gotten pretty stagnant. Sometimes I get really lonesome because I don't have friends here outside of ysa activities (which has gotten stagnant as well- everyone left!).
We still have boxes piled up from moving over a year ago (my family are packrats and I am a reformed one) and I try to deal with it by sorting stuff but there is only so much I can do when it's not my stuff. I would love for all our unnecessary stuff to be gone so we can have space to breathe and enjoy life! I want my craft area!
Sorry about all the whining, I just needed to vent. I'm trying to be a good girl and not explode.
7 comments:
Funny, I came home from my mission 10 years ago today. If it makes you feel better I didn't see myself where I am now 10 years ago. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. Don't ever be sorry for venting, and it's okay to explode, it's actually kinda liberating, if you do it right. Anyway, take care of you and know that even though we're not down the road we are still friends and we're still here for you. Have a happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, Lizzy. I hear ya. I remember the picture that you posted here. Didn't I take that one? Although I'm about six month's behind you, I have been thinking about the big FIVE YEAR thing. It is hard, isn't it? It's hard being single, it's hard being stuck, and the worst of it is feeling like there's nothing you can do. I am so there! But hang in there, love! You're path is not the same as other people's, and for very important reasons! The Lord has something really important and good going for you. He doesn't do things just for the fun of it, you know? He has made you very specific promises of wonderful blessings that will make your dreams come true. And you WILL get those blessings, dear. God is good for them. Something that I've started doing (because of a talk in my ward on Sunday) is thanking God now for the blessings that He's going to give me in the future. It's helped me so much to have more faith and hope in those promises, and it's also helped me to be so much happier. It's easy to get bogged down by the things you don't have now (you know that I understand) and that's exactly what Satan wants to happen so that He can keep you from doing all of the amazing things that you are capable of. And I don't mean amazing things people do in general, I mean the amazing (yes AMAZING) things that Miss Elizabeth Erin Chaney is capable of achieving. I love you so much! You are truly an incredible woman. I understand where you're coming from, because I have felt and do feel the same. But you are much better than all of this. You can make it through. Instead of looking where you thought you should be, look at where you are and how far you've come in five years and the changes you've made for the better and the changes you're making for the better. You've done so much and come so far! It's just hard to see that sometimes. I hope that my little rant helped. I hope you know that it's all out of love. I had better stop now, there might not be room for it! :)
Wow, that was long!!
It sounds like you need a change of some type. Or a project. Think about it and just do it. It will feel good to take control.
I'm just still wishing you'll move out here where the singles are a plenty. Over ten singles wards in a small valley. Tempting, eh? Well, I guess that's Sin City for you. I'm sure there is a great Art department down here too. You know I'll never give up right? Time does really fly. I feel like I just got home too.
Thank you everyone, you are very sweet! I am doing a bit better now.
I don't think this was whiney- more like introspective. I really like your blog- sorry it's taken me a while to respond!
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