PASFGTKYG

So there's two things that make me yearn to turn 31 and leave the YSA program. The first is the long multi-stake YSA conference calls that I somehow find myself having to participate in. The second?

The Get To Know You Game (aka GTKYG).

They're a staple at nearly every conference I attend. Of every singles ward or fhe group.

My theory is that people tend to marry young in the church so that they don't have to play these games anymore- or at least much less frequently. Then they can play get to know you games of their own.

When we were planning our 2nd Jamestown conference, we were discussing what to do that first night. Of course the senior missionary couple suggested "Let's play GTKYG!"

*facepalm*

I'm sure these games can be fun- if you like that sort of thing. Or if you were young in the early 1960's. But the older couples who married young probably don't realize that those games are not fun. Especially when you've had to play them over and over and over. And over and over and over again. I've been playing these same games for approximately 12 years in YSA- and that's not counting any times that I played these games as a child or youth.

That's a lot of GTKYG if you do the math. I've had more than my fair share. It's to the point now that it makes my skin crawl to think of playing these games.

Here's my main beef: You don't actually get to know anyone by playing these games.

I made an objection to the GTKYG at our last conference- and you know what we had the first night? An opportunity to sit and eat and chat with people! People actually getting to know one another? What a concept! You could play a board game if your heart desired. And you know what? People loved it! We now have two couples (that are fairly seriously dating) in our stake that met at that conference. You get to know someone a lot better by actually communicating than by stating if you love your neighbor or not. And isn't getting to actually know people crucial at a YSA event?? It really is out here because everyone is so spread out- it takes so long to actually get to know someone out here. It takes months of conferences to accomplish what you could in about two weeks in a singles ward.

I'm not a 20 year old with all the time in the world to get married. People, I'm 30. I don't have time for games. I need to actually communicate with members of the opposite sex!

Beef #2?

In all my experience of playing GTKYG, I've found that some are not so appropriate. There's two types of inappropriate- those that are blatantly not appropriate, and then those that mean well but weren't well thought out.

Some blatants?

The Orange Game:

While I love the scene with the orange game in Charade, in person it's not so funny. There's two lines of people, alternating boys and girls. The point is to pass the orange from neck to neck without the use of hands. First team that passes the orange down the line wins. Basically this is just an excuse to get guys and girls together in a pseudo-kissing pose, and there's a serious loss of personal space. It's real easy for that orange to go too far south on your chest.

There's now footage that exists of me and my friend Ivan where it looks like we are making out big time. Oh my! When I complained to him that girls didn't like this game, he responded "Oh us boys like this game." Exactly. At least I didn't get all scratched up from stubble like my poor galpals did. And boy am I glad that footage is not on FB!

The Lifesaver Game:

Players line up like the above game, and each player is armed with a toothpick. The point is for players to pass a lifesaver candy from toothpick to toothpick. First team done that doesn't poke someone's eye out wins. I opted out of this game, but I've seen it played at conferences. Again, the point is to have people of the opposite sex with their faces right next to each other, pseudo-kissing. No thanks.

Kissing Rugby:

This is one that really irritates me. There's a line of guys and a line of girls and someone gets called to the middle. Then a guy and a girl get called and they run around trying to kiss one another. If the person in the middle is a guy, then the girl that was called is trying to kiss him before the guy that was called kisses her. This game is against my religion. I remember first watching it when I was like 19 in the singles ward and I was just horrified.

Some not thought out games?

The fence:

A hoard of people are inside a roped enclosure. The rope is about 5' off the ground. The point is to get the group over the rope- without touching it. Basically this entails people grabbing and hoisting other people over the "fence" and they are caught by a mosh pit on the other side. Sounds innocent enough, but when I watched it there was a lot of inappropriate grabbing to get people up and over. Who wants people touching your butt?

Lapstackers:

You have a circle of chairs, and a person reads statements. If you have done the statement, you move to the right. Regardless of who's already in the chair. Maybe not so bad for little kids, but I didn't like sitting on my male YSA advisor's lap. Or anyone's lap. Rather awkward.

Most 'Teambuilding' Exercises:

Most start out innocent enough but then require some kind of contact that I'm not too crazy about. One of the last ones I played involved a team on a board and you had to have people climb over each other to get off the board. Which was fine and dandy til I realized that people's nether regions were rubbing on my shoulders as they climbed over me. Ew.

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Anyhow, I find it to be an oxymoron to have the leaders of our church say things like "Your kisses are precious- save them" and then show up at YSA events where they're playing kissing rugby. Not to mention that the odds are not in your favor- you think you'll get paired up to kiss McDreamy? Oh contraire, you'll get paired up to have to run after some slob that just ate Doritos.

I don't run around kissing everyone because I do believe that kisses are precious and I don't want some guy who's been kissing the free world. I want to be special- he'll be special to me.

Sometimes I have to wonder about who's planning these games- what are they thinking? "Oh, if we get them up in each other's personal space, we're bound to get someone married off."

When asked how they met their spouse, who wants to say "Well, I grabbed her butt in this game and we've been going out ever since"? How romantic, no?

Some of the YSA are a little too into these games. It's a bit amusing to watch. They're not getting any action in real life, so they'll take whatever they can get. My friend came up with the term "Sexually Frustrated Get To Know You Games" (aka SFGTKYG) and I think that's pretty accurate. I think that's where a lot of these kinds of games come from.

So I proposed to her that we have shirts and signs that say "PASFGTKYG"- People Against Sexually Frustrated Get To Know You Games.

 I'm really tempted to wear one to the next conference. Really tempted. Maybe I'll make a button that says that.

In talking to my galpals, I know I'm not the only one who feels this way about these games. Some of my guy friends feel the same way too. Who'll join with me?