Grandmother

This was taken when my grandparents met me for the first time. 

I don't know where to begin in writing this post, I've waited a bit so that I could bear to write it. My Grandmother Chaney passed away on Sunday, April 15th, at about 9:00 in the morning California time. She hadn't spent very long in her new care home, just a few days. Her health had been in steady decline since she had multiple strokes earlier this year, so we all knew this was coming, but it was still hard to realize that she's gone for now.

My grandmother Carol was born in 1933, she would have turned 79 in June. She was a middle child and she loved her family. I can only imagine her happy reunions with her parents and sister and other loved ones. She grew up in Utah and met my grandfather at a USO dance in the early 50's. Married in 1952, (thankfully they got to celebrate their 60th anniversary right before she started having strokes) they had three children- my father and his two sisters. They did a lot together as a family and took trips to Yosemite. They were and are, very family oriented. Their family set the pattern for my own happy family.

I have lots of happy memories with my grandmother. I remember her visiting when I was about 5, and she had me come over to her and close my eyes and she presented me with a pair of silver shoes for dress up, those were some magic shoes. Her favorite color was green, like an apple green. She loved vintage green things and loved receiving green depression glass to add to her collection. I collect pink, and she was going to swap me some pink depression glass for green. It's hard now when I go antiquing, since I see all these things that she would love, and I cannot buy them for her. I always liked to visit her in CA and feel special. She was a wonderful cook and we're all thankful that my dad learned from her- he cooks very well for us. I'm so glad that we were all able to get together in the summer of 2010, that was a great visit. It was so fun to all go to the zoo together. I already loved the family photos that were taken then, and now I love them even more.

Both of my grandmas are artistically inclined, it flows in my veins. Grandmother loved fabric and quilts. She and I both loved quilts from the 1930's. I loved to send her pictures of what I saw at the quilt shows I went to. She often sent me quilting books and magazines and goodies in care packages. She was always interested in what I was doing project-wise, and always encouraging. Oh, and she was a wedding planner and good with flowers and receptions- must be where I get it from.

My grandmother was one of the kindest, sweetest people I've ever known. She would send cards and call if you were the least bit sick. I hated worrying her with my various illnesses. She was always a sympathetic ear. She radiated love in word and deed to all of us. She ended every phone call with "I love you." I'm so thankful for this example in my life.

I was not able to attend her funeral in California, but I hear that it was all very nice. It took place at the cemetery, and the missionaries spoke about the plan of salvation. My aunt sent me a photo taken at the funeral- there was a large, beautiful moth on the ground. I found that was fitting since winged things like butterflies are supposed to represent the soul returning to heaven.

I have done some soul searching over the last couple of weeks as to how best honor her memory. Really, the best way is through my own actions. I want to strive to be the kind of woman my grandmother was. I want to be sweet and kind and thoughtful like her. I want people to know that they are loved. What would my grandmother want me to do? She'd want me to strive to be happy, to develop my testimony, to love my family, my friends, and those around me. She'd want me to be creative and progress in my artwork. She'd want me to use my sewing machine a lot. And if I ever have a family of my own, she'd want me to be a strong woman and love them all very much in my words and deeds. If I can be half the woman she was, I'll be doing well. 

And oh yeah, she'd want me to have a retro kitchen. 

It's been a hard few months, watching her decline and slowly losing my grandmother. And it's been hard losing her, knowing I won't see her for what seems like a long time. When I took my mother to the airport, I watched her go through security and remark to another lady, "You wait here and then you wait there", meaning having to wait on either side of security before your flight. But that's pretty much how it is- we wait to see our deceased loved ones, and they're waiting for us too. Someday there'll be a happy reunion. 

I miss her, and the problem is that she would be the one to tell all my heartaches to. She'd know how to fix this broken heart. I'm so thankful for the Holy Ghost and the peace and healing that has taken place in my heart. 

I'm glad that she's not hurting anymore, and I know that she's in a better place. I'm so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that allows us to be together as families after this life.

I now feel reawakened, all of this has been a sort of distraction the last few months. I really like this quote that I came accross:

"When compared to eternal verities, most of the questions and concerns of daily living are really rather trivial. What should we have for dinner? What color should we paint the living room? Should we sign Johnny up for soccer? These questions and countless others like them lose their significance when times of crisis arise, when loved ones are hurt or injured, when sickness enters the house of good health, when life’s candle dims and darkness threatens. Our thoughts become focused, and we are easily able to determine what is really important and what is merely trivial."

—President Thomas S. Monson, "The Race of Life", General Conference, Apr. 2012

It's time to wake up and get going, all this has been a good reminder of what is really important. 

Grandmother, we love you and miss you so much, more than words can describe. Thank you for being the wonderful daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister and friend and for touching so many lives. Thank you for working hard to have a good family- thank you for raising me a wonderful father. Thank you for your example of kindness and love. We know Christ because we knew you. Someday we'll be reunited and I hope to make you proud.

XOXO, Liz