Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is always interesting. It’s a little thorn in my side, but for the most part it’s a good day. We had a nice day with Mom and we also had a widow from our branch over for dinner and that was nice. I like Mother’s Day in PA better then back home. For being a very little branch, I find it interesting that a large percentage of our Relief Society (4 women including me, which is close to half of our regularly attending sisters) have not had children. The others are much older than I. So you have to watch what you say in RS and speakers in Sacrament meeting have to watch what they say because not everyone in the audience is a mother. I don’t take too much offense though, nor do most of the other sisters.


I always hate being forced to take a Mother’s Day present- I’ve been forced to take those presents since I was 17 and that’s getting to be awhile now. It’s so hard not to roll your eyes when they say “But you’re a future mother” year after year. It’s hard not to feel a little blackmailed- I joke that I’ll have to be a mom one of these days because I’ve been forced to accept Mother’s Day presents for the last 12 years.

Mother’s Day presents at church are better out here- I’d much rather have a cute handmade card from the handful of Primary children then the fare back home. Yesterday us gals got bandanas- almost got an orange one (lol) but got a nice bright pink one that'll come in handy for camp. I miss people in the home ward, but it’s good to be out of the home ward especially on occasions like this. Out here I’m treated for who I am, instead of being compared to who I’m not.

Recently my friend Jenni has been writing a series of essays about womanhood and motherhood and the last part of her series were people like me, the “childless” mothers. I liked her essay and I recommend it and the other parts in her series. She has some good links to talks on the subject. It helped some things click for me. I am a mother, even though I don’t have children of my own- I can influence others for good. Being a mother is more than giving birth or wiping noses, it’s more about nurturing others, whoever that may be. One day I will be a mother and everything I do is in preparation.

As a single person, I have these feeling and wants that are frustrating because I have no outlet for them. I want to make valentines and play Santa at Christmastime. I want to take kids to the zoo. I want to make baby blankets and keepsakes. I want to have family home evening with children. I want to love and nurture in ways that I just can’t right now, and that’s frustrating. Sometimes life would be easier if I didn’t have a heart, if instead I was like the Grinch with a heart two sizes too small.

Even though I don’t have a family of my own, I can love and nurture in other ways. I can be an influence for good on our Primary children- most of whom are being raised by grandparents. We invite them over to play every now and then to give their grandma a break. Recently during stake conference, I was sitting next to a woman with a baby that was trying to learn how to stand and he seemed to like to practice with my skirt. I didn’t mind that my skirt was getting a bit slimed- I hardly ever see babies out here (the youngest in our branch are like 7). I have little cousins that I can be an example to, even though I don’t see them very often. I really enjoy being Auntie Liz to the babies of my friends. I have nurturing instincts for the YW- they have few people who teach them the gospel. Most of them have parents who are gone all the time and they need attention- someone to listen. They have few people who tell them No, you shouldn’t do that, which I try to do lovingly. They have few people who encourage them to go to church and activities. In YSA, I try to be friendly even when I’d rather not be. I take younger people under my wing. I remember forever ago when people did that for me when I was out of high school and trying to figure myself out and now it’s my turn to do that for others.

I think that teaching is a big part of nurturing and I find it interesting that I’m often in teaching situations. The YW will ask me questions, or someone at school will have problems remembering how to do something and ask me. Teaching is becoming pretty natural. It feels good to help people become closer to their potential.

Everyone, big or small, needs someone to listen to them- to hear what they say and don’t say. Everyone needs someone to be their cheerleader in life. Everyone needs someone to notice when they’re not there. Those are things that everyone can do. I remember some of the customers that I’d get back when I was working wouldn’t really need sheets or towels, but someone to listen to them. And I would stand there and listen to them even though I had better things to do. Everyone is a child of God.

When Julie B. Beck was out here awhile ago, she told us YSA that we should be involved in service. Yes, we’re busy, but often we have a smidge more time to serve then others might and we should take that opportunity. I’m not perfect, but I try to do that. There are times when I realize that my singleness is a blessing in disguise- I can be away at camp or youth conferences without having to worry about leaving my family. It’s hard for the other leaders. I try to put my singleness to good use. Next month I’ll be Miss Mom as I’ll be house-sitting and keeping an eye on teenagers while their parents are away. I almost didn’t take the gig, but then when I thought about it, who else could do it? Everybody else has family or a job to worry about. I’m out of school for the summer and not doing much right then.

There’s a woman out here in the branch who is nice and all but there are times where she is an example of what I don’t want to be in life. She and her husband never had children and she doesn’t come to church on Mother’s Day because it’s too overwhelming. I feel bad that she feels that way. I wish that she could find peace. I wish that she could have more faith in Heavenly Father’s plan, which promises blessings in the life to come if we do our part. The other childless women in my branch have peace in their hearts and I look up to them. I also look up to the good moms that I see around me. Anyhow, this habit also keeps her husband at home instead of going to church. It makes other people have to teach her Sunday School lesson, which is a challenge in our little branch. Anytime there’s conversation about journals or whatnot, she’s quick to say that she doesn’t bother to keep one because they have no heirs and it would just get tossed out. How uplifting. Anyhow, Heavenly Father has asked everyone to keep a record, heirs or no heirs. Everybody’s life has worth, children or no children. I wish she had a better perspective. I look up to the 2nd counselor in the RS General Presidency, Sister Thompson, and others like her– she never married or had children but she is strong and faithful in the gospel and an example to others. Things didn’t go how she planned, but she serves the Lord anyhow.

Someday I’ll be a mom. Some days I have faith in that more than others. Right now is the time to prepare for that time. I’d like to think that I’ll be a good mom because I’ve had longer to prepare. Heavenly Father has told me that I need to learn interesting things for the sake of my children, and I think that’s what I’m doing right now in school and my hobbies. I still love the talk given by President Uchtdorf about how we’re happier when we create- whether that be talents or things like good families and happy homes. I’m happy when I create- and also when I can help create happiness in others.