Ten

Greetings from Connecticut, 2003

November 25 marks ten years of being home from my mission. I don't really know what to think of that, except, Dang! How did that happen? Time moves quite fast sometimes. When I look back at life, it's been a rollercoaster- many ups and downs. 

I suppose that's fitting for someone who has worked at an amusement park. 

I remember the day, I remember leaving the mission home without Sister Coleman, who was staying and touring CT with her mother. I remember feeling awful that I had no companion and was breaking a rule, but there was nothing to be done about it. I remember the elder who had a carry on that easily weighed 50 pounds, he didn't want to pay for a heavy suitcase. I remember a layover in Chicago, where a year and a half earlier I had come through as a scared brand new missionary, and how we ran into a group of brand new missionaries on their way to Connecticut. I remember trying to deplane and how it felt like an eternity until I could get off that plane to run and see my family. Didn't everyone know how anxious I was to see them?? 

I remember how great and surreal it was to be home and see my family. How devastating it is to be released as a missionary, and to become 'mortal'. How weird it was to watch tv or be by myself. How wonderful that Thanksgiving was, two days after arriving home. How hard it was to figure out what to do with myself and find a job. You've had a great adventure and learned so much, now what are you supposed to do with it?

Where do I find myself ten years after arriving home? Someplace I never thought I'd be. I'm nearly halfway done with my second year of teaching. Far away from my family, living in Phoenix of all places. That's right, this mossy Washingtonian is living in the desert. Working in a school that for the last year and a half has been very difficult and brought me to my breaking point at times. I have a blessed life though- I have good relationships with my family and many close people in my life. I have a sweet little apartment that spoils me with it's luxuries. I have a Cheesecake Factory close by! I have sorted through a lot of my things. I have opportunities for creativity as a remake or arrange things in my place. I have a studio area! I have a wonderful ward that has lifted me up and saved me more than they know. I have a temple fairly close and soon I'll have one very close. I have learned a lot about myself and my strengths and weaknesses, having had to work on things that I thought were strengths and grow even more. 

I look back at the hard times- finding new work, moving to Pennsylvania, etc- and how they lead to blessings and good things. The craft store dying gave me a better job with a few more opportunities at BB&B. I hated, absolutely hated moving to Pennsylvania, but then it became a Promised Land of sorts for my family and I. I found a place to go to school and worked hard to graduate, which allowed me this job and life. I grew through service in the branch and very small ward I was a part of out East, as well as my time working with the YSA and planning things for them. My family now has a house and we've had other opportunities for growth. Dad is home more, which is amazing. 

When five years had passed since arriving home from my mission, I was really freaked out and upset. Probably because I felt like I hadn't really accomplished what I wanted. These days it doesn't bother me, I'm calm and relaxed about it and more comfortable in my skin. I have a pretty good life, I've been able to achieve some independence. 

Where will the next ten take me? I don't know, but I know that as I do the will of the Lord and do what I should, then I'll be happy no matter the challenges. His love is always there. I want to do my best to have a blessed life. 

Here I am, ten years later, with a sweet friend at the Mesa temple. Life is good.

And yeah I'm still rockin' black skirts. 

Changes

Today we found out that our branch that we have attended for the past five years is to be no more. As of this afternoon, the Corry Branch is no longer in existence. So as you might guess, today was not an easy day. 

We received a phone call earlier in the week saying that today's scheduled branch council meeting was canceled and also that our meetings were to be in reverse order- I'd teach YW during first hour and then we'd have the Sacrament during third hour. All of which made my family rather suspicious that something would happen. I figured we'd either be getting a real branch president (we've been without one for a few months, with a member of the stake presidency filling in) or the branch would be closed. I guess I got my answer today.

After the Sacrament, President Miller made the announcement. I'm sure it was not an easy decision or an easy statement to have to say- he used to attend the branch and loved it. He said that like seven years ago, a visiting general authority had said that our stake couldn't support so many (9 at the time) units. I guess I should be thankful that we lasted this long, and weren't disbanded years ago. Another branch was disbanded right before we moved out here, so we always knew it was a possibility. Today, the only other branch besides us was disbanded as well.

After the announcement, we were asked to raise our right hands to sustain the decision, and I tell you that that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But I did it. After that, he answered questions and we sang "Because I Have Been Given Much" (with me leading the music) and after the meeting was over, we hugged and cried and then cleaned out personal items from the building. Tomorrow the building will be re-keyed, so it was urgent to get our things. I had added quite a lot of things to the YW room over the years, and what with Mom and my sister also being RS and Primary presidents, there was a lot of stuff to take home. It would have been easy to be dishonest and take things that didn't really belong to me, but I resisted. It was sad having to clean out the YW room. 

Our branch members have been divided between four wards. Everyone will have to drive quite aways to get to their new ward. We will now have to drive an hour to get to our new ward. Some of my friends, upon hearing the news, were excited that I'd now be attending a ward, but the truth is that our new place is also struggling very much, despite being a "ward." They have low attendance (not much larger than our branch), problems having enough Priesthood members and no active YW. I am sure they are excited for the handful of us now going to this ward.

The aftermath has been interesting, seeing who was surprised, and who wasn't. I've been worrying about this for like the last year and a half, so today was disappointing but not unexpected, though I didn't think it would happen this soon. I figured it would happen when the several elderly people in our branch passed away. Some people didn't understand why, others who weren't there today asked me when exactly it was going to happen, as if it was scheduled on the calendar. Some were very shocked, even though they attend fairly regularly.

Today's experiences has made me think of Christ's Second Coming- we know he is coming and we know of the signs, but we don't know when it will happen. And we will all see the same signs and some will recognize the signs and some won't. Those of us who study and pay attention will be observant to the signs and it will not be a surprise. 

Life brings trials and this is no different. Being in a small branch had its challenges. Now we have different challenges. Will we still be obedient and faithful? Will we resist anger and judgement and disappointment? Will we choose to embrace our new path and be happy?

I'm reminded of an experience on my mission, many moons ago. Towards the end of my mission, we were losing sister missionaries and not getting replacements. Other sister areas had been handed over to elders as we got fewer and fewer in number. My companion and I were asked to add another companion, hers had gone home. For about two weeks, the three of us covered both her area and ours. And then we were told to leave our area and serve full time in the new area. We respectfully begged to continue to have both areas, but it was not to be. It was very hard to obey and to be cheerful about it, but we did as asked. Our area went to the elders and we stayed full time in the new area. It was a challenge, but I was glad to have met it. It was a lesson in having faith in God and in our leaders. 

It's hard not to feel bad. Did I give it my all? I especially feel bad for the elderly people in our branch, they were the pioneers of the area. They used to attend church in Erie and here and there in rented spaces, and then they finally got a building in Corry and now to see this happen. 

Well, Corry Branch, thank you for five good years. Thank you for showing us love and kindness. Thank you for good friends. Thank you for wonderful experiences. Thank you for growth. Thank you for 4 sweet years in YW. When Dad was scouting out places to live, he wanted to attend the branch. At first I resisted, but it turned out to be a good growth opportunity for me as well as my family. 

When the YW room was done being cleaned out, I shut the door and said a little prayer of thanks.

My YW room, several people told me it was their favorite room in the building. 

No more branch dinners in the chapel?

Our sweet little building, we'll miss you. 

We'll see what life has in store for us in our new unit. I'm sad to be released from YW and intrigued to see what new calling I receive. I'm glad I was able to bear my testimony a week ago on Fast Sunday- I didn't know that would be my last opportunity here.

Into each life a little rain must fall. Life goes on, I guess... 

Sidewalk Chalk

I'd read in the paper that our neighboring little town was giving people the opportunity to do sidewalk chalk as part of the town's festival last weekend. I thought that would be super fun since I love doing sidewalk chalk, so I signed up to do 2 sidewalk panels. There's something intriguing about art that washes away. It cost $10, I'm assuming to help pay for the chalk! I've been busy, I was looking forward to a fun distraction.

I didn't know what to draw, it just kinda came to me when I got there.

First I started with a butterfly:

Know why I did a side profile? Cause it's hard to make symmetrical butterflies when you're crouched over!

 And then I attempted one of the lighthouses on Presque Isle:

I loved the bright colored chalk they provided, a good variety of colors! 

Other artists at work:

I worked right by Spiderman. 

It was fun to have people from the community come up and see what I was doing and say hello. Also saw some friends who were enjoying the park. 

I'd love to go back and do these again better, but it was pretty fun. I was covered in chalk dust and my hands were blue! The next day I hurt from using muscles that I don't normally use while crouching on the ground to draw!

I love the part in Mary Poppins where they look at the beautiful detailed chalk drawings on the ground. Someday I'd love to use smaller pieces of chalk to make a more detailed image!

 I need some sunny days and some time to do that!

Oh Hai

What have I been up to lately? Well, blink your eyes and it's time for another YSA conference! Wasn't I just at one? Geez, a month goes by fast!

This one was called Gathering in the Grove and held in Palmyra over Memorial Day weekend. The Kirtland conference is always the same weekend and I've always gone to that one, but this year the group decided to break tradition and check out GIG. GIG was a bit cheaper and the featured guest was Alex Boye, who sings in Motab which won over Janice Kapp Perry. I really missed my fabulous catered meal that is Kirtland's tradition, but had a good time.

There were some concerns about the weekend, namely:

1) Tent camping.
2) Smushing seven people and all our crap into a Yukon
3) Tent camping!!!

You see, I've never had a great experience with tent camping in Palmyra, and I've tried it three other times!
But it was cheaper than getting a hotel room, so I succumbed.

I kinda have mixed feelings about this conference. I enjoyed being able to go to the temple and do a session (it doesn't happen that often with the temple being so far away) and Alex Boye was spiritual and funny to listen to (I'd recommend him if you have the opportunity) but the rest? Meh. No one terribly interesting to talk to. Got stuck watching my group in choir practice during free time. Got ate up by bugs and got no sleep. It was miserably hot and humid. And I didn't like all the raucous laughter/applause that happened in the chapel when we saw Alex Boye. It really should have been held in the gym. And I'm not really sure that having to be dressed up (temple,church) as well as trying to impress the opposite sex while camping in heat/humidity really meshes. 

But I survived, and it was probably better than whatever I would have been doing at home. 

A tangle of girls in the backseat!

Raelena's comedy act during the No Talent Talent Show. We all helped her come up with groaner jokes. 

Our leaning tower of tent.
It gave way just as we were packing the car!

Nice hood ornament, Raelena

I don't know how we fit everything in!

Our Gang

My girlies

 Moving on...

The plan for Memorial Day was for a bunch of us to meet up, go hang out at Presque Isle and have a photo shoot. It was actually my idea, but stuff happened and people couldn't find each other and the stuff that I had wanted to do (photoshoot and sandcastles) didn't happen. And we were all irritated with each other that night too. It was also real hot and humid, well into the 90's, we were miserable. Real fun, huh? Ugh.

I did get a few pics with my sis and our friend Hannah, that was it.

Hannah!

The gang at Perry's Monument

What else? Well, I glued scrapbook paper to about 80 big washers for camp necklaces....

....and I survived a major hailstorm- the stones were so big that they shattered on my windshield and left dents on the hood! I had no way to get out of the storm!

There's about 20 big dings, you can see some in this pic.

Life goes on. Hope you're doing well. 

Stay tuned for more fun!

Faline, Our Deer Friend

Right in the middle of boring everyday life, life gives us something amazing. One morning when my sister was walking dogs, this tiny little deer appeared and came right up to her and even nosed the dogs. Mom saw this little deer too. They were able to snap a couple of photos before she disappeared. I heard about it later and we all marveled at such an unusual occurrence. You see, there are lots and lots of deer here in Pennsylvania, and we see them quite often on the property, but nothing like this had ever happened before.

Well later that evening, when it was starting to get dark, little Faline (yes, we named her after Bambi's girlfriend) showed up again, just came right down the driveway. I grabbed my camera and Mom and I went outside and I got to see Faline up close and personal.

"Oh, hi. Can I come over?"

Om nom nom nom

Hello there!

The grass is always greenest right behind the car. 

Shh....don't tell her that the Jeep behind her has hit four deer!
It's our little secret. 

So cute!

Bye Liz, it was fun hanging out!

It was so amazing to have her so close, she even came and stuck her nose in my stomach and sniffed my pants. She ate grass from Mom and I too. She didn't care when  Mom yelled for Laura, she wasn't afraid. She munched here and there and went back up the driveway, and didn't care that I followed her.

Eventually she mosied off into the forest and I went and ate my dinner and left her to eat hers. The next day we saw her behind our ponds with her mamma, guess she'd gotten a scolding about talking to strangers.

Told you our place was magical.

Now What?

The weeks that follow a major life event are usually kindof strange, especially when that major life event isn't so fun. The weeks that followed my grandmother's death were hard, and kinda strange. What do you do? There's no real protocol for this.

I held down the fort while my mom was gone for two weeks in CA. She went to attend the funeral with my father, and visited her own family as well. I was glad she was able to see my dad and spend some time with him. It took two tries to get Mom from the airport- she was delayed in Detroit overnight due to fog in Erie, and I spent all day in Erie for nothing trying to pick her up and having to make the drive the next day to finally get her. It felt like quite the accomplishment when the two of us were both home!

A week after my grandmother's passing, I attended the YSA conference in West Virginia. I already had things lined up to go, and there was no sense in not going. Laura wound up staying home alone over the weekend to take care of her dogs since Mom was away in CA. Not to mention, I had somehow been volunteered to be in charge of carpooling and ticket purchases and I didn't want all my hair-pulling work to be for nothing! 

We met at the church building and smushed 10 people into two cars- gas is expensive and it's a four hour drive! I succeeded in not having to drive, that was a real accomplishment! I had to fight for that. My car ride down was cramped but fine, and we ate at Outback- good thing cause I didn't want the pizza provided. Friday night was the usual horrifying get to know you games- I politely played Two Truths and a Lie with a group before ducking out. Later that evening we had a bonfire and listened to Jack Rose speak to us- it was very good. He talked about how you have to have courage to have faith. His words were very timely for me.

Saturday brought classes- I attended one about art appreciation, car maintenance, creating your own title of liberty (with fabric and sticks and everything!) and also one on dating etiquette. They were all really good, better than a lot of conference classes.

Here's the art appreciation class, held in a sweet little chapel on the camp. 

We rock! 

We played Ninja!

We got ready for the dance!

The dance was a lot of fun, I got asked to dance a lot (don't get your hopes up, none of that's gonna pan out!) and I even asked a guy to dance when it was Ladies Choice- can you believe it? I was proud of myself for not being a wallflower. I tried not to take it too personally when said guy didn't want to talk to me anymore after I danced with him. Sigh.

Also on Saturday we got to hear more from Jack Rose, and again he was good.

Sunday was Sacrament Meeting and it was nice to hear from the speakers and testimonies. Overall the weekend was really great and uplifting, I felt very comforted. It was hard to say bye to my friends that don't live near me. I'm really glad that I went to the conference, I really needed the pick me up.

Since the conference, I:

Played with sidewalk chalk with the YSA

Observed a foggy day at Presque Isle while unsuccessfully getting Mom from the airport

Saw this cute aqua bike decor...wish it could come home with me!

I helped clear brush at camp and figure out where stuff will go. 

And I played Nerf Wars with the YSA! 

We played in the dark with two teams- each side had a different color of glow necklaces to wear- really fun!

When Mom came home, she brought home a few things that belonged to my grandmother. Not really important or sentimental things, but some things that my dad and grandfather thought we could use and no one else was really gonna care about. I got a couple of long sleeve Ts, brand new. Also this skirt, still had tags on it. Mom also brought home some RS magazines from like the 60s and some plastic dust covers for clothes. 

It didn't bother me a lot to see these things, but it did give me a little pang in my heart that she wasn't ever going to use these things and also that I was never going to get a care package from her again- she often sent us boxes of various goodies. Sigh.

And that's the news from Elizabeth, stay tuned for more. 

Grandmother

This was taken when my grandparents met me for the first time. 

I don't know where to begin in writing this post, I've waited a bit so that I could bear to write it. My Grandmother Chaney passed away on Sunday, April 15th, at about 9:00 in the morning California time. She hadn't spent very long in her new care home, just a few days. Her health had been in steady decline since she had multiple strokes earlier this year, so we all knew this was coming, but it was still hard to realize that she's gone for now.

My grandmother Carol was born in 1933, she would have turned 79 in June. She was a middle child and she loved her family. I can only imagine her happy reunions with her parents and sister and other loved ones. She grew up in Utah and met my grandfather at a USO dance in the early 50's. Married in 1952, (thankfully they got to celebrate their 60th anniversary right before she started having strokes) they had three children- my father and his two sisters. They did a lot together as a family and took trips to Yosemite. They were and are, very family oriented. Their family set the pattern for my own happy family.

I have lots of happy memories with my grandmother. I remember her visiting when I was about 5, and she had me come over to her and close my eyes and she presented me with a pair of silver shoes for dress up, those were some magic shoes. Her favorite color was green, like an apple green. She loved vintage green things and loved receiving green depression glass to add to her collection. I collect pink, and she was going to swap me some pink depression glass for green. It's hard now when I go antiquing, since I see all these things that she would love, and I cannot buy them for her. I always liked to visit her in CA and feel special. She was a wonderful cook and we're all thankful that my dad learned from her- he cooks very well for us. I'm so glad that we were all able to get together in the summer of 2010, that was a great visit. It was so fun to all go to the zoo together. I already loved the family photos that were taken then, and now I love them even more.

Both of my grandmas are artistically inclined, it flows in my veins. Grandmother loved fabric and quilts. She and I both loved quilts from the 1930's. I loved to send her pictures of what I saw at the quilt shows I went to. She often sent me quilting books and magazines and goodies in care packages. She was always interested in what I was doing project-wise, and always encouraging. Oh, and she was a wedding planner and good with flowers and receptions- must be where I get it from.

My grandmother was one of the kindest, sweetest people I've ever known. She would send cards and call if you were the least bit sick. I hated worrying her with my various illnesses. She was always a sympathetic ear. She radiated love in word and deed to all of us. She ended every phone call with "I love you." I'm so thankful for this example in my life.

I was not able to attend her funeral in California, but I hear that it was all very nice. It took place at the cemetery, and the missionaries spoke about the plan of salvation. My aunt sent me a photo taken at the funeral- there was a large, beautiful moth on the ground. I found that was fitting since winged things like butterflies are supposed to represent the soul returning to heaven.

I have done some soul searching over the last couple of weeks as to how best honor her memory. Really, the best way is through my own actions. I want to strive to be the kind of woman my grandmother was. I want to be sweet and kind and thoughtful like her. I want people to know that they are loved. What would my grandmother want me to do? She'd want me to strive to be happy, to develop my testimony, to love my family, my friends, and those around me. She'd want me to be creative and progress in my artwork. She'd want me to use my sewing machine a lot. And if I ever have a family of my own, she'd want me to be a strong woman and love them all very much in my words and deeds. If I can be half the woman she was, I'll be doing well. 

And oh yeah, she'd want me to have a retro kitchen. 

It's been a hard few months, watching her decline and slowly losing my grandmother. And it's been hard losing her, knowing I won't see her for what seems like a long time. When I took my mother to the airport, I watched her go through security and remark to another lady, "You wait here and then you wait there", meaning having to wait on either side of security before your flight. But that's pretty much how it is- we wait to see our deceased loved ones, and they're waiting for us too. Someday there'll be a happy reunion. 

I miss her, and the problem is that she would be the one to tell all my heartaches to. She'd know how to fix this broken heart. I'm so thankful for the Holy Ghost and the peace and healing that has taken place in my heart. 

I'm glad that she's not hurting anymore, and I know that she's in a better place. I'm so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that allows us to be together as families after this life.

I now feel reawakened, all of this has been a sort of distraction the last few months. I really like this quote that I came accross:

"When compared to eternal verities, most of the questions and concerns of daily living are really rather trivial. What should we have for dinner? What color should we paint the living room? Should we sign Johnny up for soccer? These questions and countless others like them lose their significance when times of crisis arise, when loved ones are hurt or injured, when sickness enters the house of good health, when life’s candle dims and darkness threatens. Our thoughts become focused, and we are easily able to determine what is really important and what is merely trivial."

—President Thomas S. Monson, "The Race of Life", General Conference, Apr. 2012

It's time to wake up and get going, all this has been a good reminder of what is really important. 

Grandmother, we love you and miss you so much, more than words can describe. Thank you for being the wonderful daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister and friend and for touching so many lives. Thank you for working hard to have a good family- thank you for raising me a wonderful father. Thank you for your example of kindness and love. We know Christ because we knew you. Someday we'll be reunited and I hope to make you proud.

XOXO, Liz

The California Leg

It was really hard to leave "home" in WA again (where did the time go?), but I was excited to be getting to CA. I really wanted to see my family. The California part of my trip proved to be rather bittersweet. As you may recall, my dad had been there helping for a long time with my grandmother who had had several strokes. It was really nice to see him and the rest of my family there, meanwhile it was heartbreaking to see that my grandmother would never really be herself again. I didn't really do any sightseeing, that wasn't the point this trip- it was to see my family and I'm so glad that I was able to. 

Anyhow, on the photos...

Kinda random, but I got to see very old televisions in the SF Airport- kinda neat! This one was from 1947 and had a screen that popped up somehow- isn't the cabinet beautiful?

I am never in SF in February- I got to see the plum tree in bloom! 

Got to see the new plant shed- though it's too nice now to be called a shed!

I went to the high school with my aunt who works there- it's been awhile since I've been in the schools so it was nice to dip my toe in again- and really nice to get to observe and not have to do anything!

It was great observing the art classes.

I want a clay camera! (In progress)

I love this beat up old desk!

How can you be sad when you have buckets of colored pencils?

Spent a couple of days slowly getting ready for my aunt's birthday party...about the easiest party prep I've done!

One of the kids said,"It's not an official birthday party unless there are balloons." 

Good thing we were legit!

Grma and her helpers did the hard part of baking the cookies! I did the brownies...from a frozen batter! And the yummy raviolis were from the caterer! Too easy!

You know it's a good party when someone's under the table, lol.

It was nice to have a houseful and see family friends!

 We did manage to get to our fave restaurant, Nick's!
Had a nice time with Mom's side of the family and some family friends.

I did not take any photos of my other grandmother in the nursing home, I thought about it and decided not to. It wouldn't give her the dignity she deserves and I don't need a photo to remember how sweet she is or how heartbreaking it is to see her in this state. And really, what would I do with the photo?

I made a memory of her in my heart instead. She was happy and smiling, cheerful and loving, but more childlike. She knew who I was and would ask me how Mom and Laura were doing. She remembered the mall had gotten remodeled. But she also kept thinking she was in Utah and that Dad and my grandfather had come out from CA to see her, things like that. 

It was really touching when out of the blue she told me that she was so proud of me for graduating. And another time she told my dad that both she and he have good kids. Many sweet memories. 

It was so hard to have to leave her room when I visited on my way to the airport to go home. I knew it would be the last time I'd ever get to see her in this life. I held her hand and kissed her forehead. She told me she loved me, but I just couldn't say it back- I knew I'd start bawling. I'm probably going to regret that one day. But I know that she knows that I love her. I touched her feet on my way out and blew her a kiss. 

I'm so very thankful that I got to see her when I did- she's had more setbacks since I left and is not doing very well. My other grandma as of now is in the hospital and had to have surgery. Thankfully she's doing alright and will be coming home soon. It pains me to have my loved ones in discomfort and pain.

I'm so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the knowledge that this life is not all there is- if it was, it'd be so unfair. We have hope of a resurrection through Christ's sacrifice for us. I always love Easter, but now it means even more. I'm so thankful that our families can be together forever.